As I Am
by Namjr
Summary: Kay finally makes amends to the most important person, herself.
1. Proloug

~~~ As I Am Prologue

I disclaim

*** How stupid is it of me to begin another story, but moron that I am I continue as thought I finished all of most of them (that's a lye.) So here it is, I should warn you thought none of the characters mentioned, even thought they sound familiar are like they are in ay of my other fics.***

_"We're sorry there was nothing that could have done." _

It played in her head like a mantra, nothing that could have been done, yes there was, but she didn't do it, She should have left, when she realized Miguel would be no help, when she found out she was pregnant, she should have left, as soon as she turned eighteen and realized that she was still the in the same place she was at sixteen. 

The only person she could truly blame for her daughter's death was herself, she lied, schemed, manipulated, and sinned, and her baby girl had paid the price. 

She should repent, or make amend, or pray for forgiveness, but she wasn't lying to herself anymore. Kay looked up and meet her reflection in the mirror, she would never be good like Charity or Jessica, swearing to God that she would changed would only get her struck by lightening, the time had come for her to be truthful with herself, about herself. "You're truly evil Bennet." 

It actually made her feel better, she didn't have to put on some act the next time Miguel and company came into the room, no more holding her tongue, and keeping her dislike in check. It was the freest she felt in a long time, it was just unfortunate what the ability had cost her. She felt the tears threatened and shook them off, she couldn't do this right now, right now she had to make arrangements, right now she had to make this right, and then when she was alone she would mourn. 

The sound of the door opening had her wiping her eyes, and walking out of the bathroom. She walked back out into the main part of her hospital room and saw Dr. McKoy. The doctor that helped Dr.Russell, was younger, and a definitely who she needed to speak to if she wanted anything down without her family know." Dr. McKoy, I was just going to go look for you." 

"Oh. Glad I could save you the trip, how can I help?" 

Kay took a deep breath, and meets the doctor's eyes." I need to go." 

~~~

Four hours later

"Sam, it was his child too, I don't think it asking too much for her to have his last name." 

Sam Bennet stared at Luis in wonderment; he counted to ten at least three times, before he felt calm enough to speak." Luis, now is not the time to do his, okay?"  He never in his life wanted to punch someone as much as he wanted to punch his friend, at this very moment he thought Miguel was asking for too much just to breathe. "We'll settle this later, after I've talked to Kay, and see how she's doing, in case you forgot, she lost her daughter?"  
  


Miguel watched the in silence, he didn't really think Sam was going to let his name appeared a head stone, but fighting for it made Luis feel better, so he let him do it. In truth he didn't want her to have a tombstone, it made it too real, this was much easier if he thought of her as just a baby, or the baby if didn't give her a name, then she wasn't really dead. That he could handle.

"Daddy what's taking so long?" Jessica asked as she snuggled deeper into Reese's embrace, the waiting as getting to everyone, if no came soon, she was sure they would be a fight. 

Sam gave his youngest a sad smile." I don't know baby, I'm sure their just giving Kay a check up or something." The lye came out easily, in the back of him however Sam, was wondering he same thing, it had been at least twenty four hours since anyone had last seen Kay, after the Eve pronounced the baby dead, she had refused all visitors, Dr.McKoy said it was normal, but now he was getting worried, Kay didn't need to be alone, she needed her family, she even needed the little twerp Miguel. 

"I'll go see what's happening. " Hank walked toward the nurse station, and flashed his trademark smile at the nurse." Excuse me, could you tell me what's happening with my niece Kay Bennet?" 

"Sure."  The petite nurse, begun typing away on her computer, before she looked back up." Kay Bennet was released.

"Excuse me, that can't be she gave birth yesterday?" 

"No it's right here." She pointed to a line on the screen." Kay Bennet signed herself out two hours ago." 

Sam walked over and glared at the nurse." That's ridiculous, how can she sign herself out?"  The sound of footsteps him turning just in time to catch Eve's breathless entrance." Eve, what's going on?" 

 Eve took a breath, and wondered the best way to break the news, but knew the truth was all the only real option she had "She left Sam, I just found out that went against doctors orders and signed her out." She turned to look at Miguel, and gave him a sympathetic look." She also this note for you." 

Miguel took the note with trembling hands, and well aware the entire Bennet clan watched him as he read it. 

_Miguel_

_The last thing I ever ask you is bury our daughter properly. The small victim in our screwed up lives deserves it._

_Kay_

The note was scrawled on a post it, attached to a bigger piece of paper, when he unfolded it he saw that it was the birth certificate. Finally able to meet Sam's eye he repeated what he knew to be true." She's gone." 


	2. Chapter 1

~~~ As I Am Ch. 1

I disclaim

July 12, 2007

"Why would you tell me you have the money if you didn't?" 

"I thought I did." 

": The entire reason I asked is so that I wouldn't have to come out of my way to get cash, but here we are at a bank, when we should making my date, and then catching a plane back to L.A." 

"I'm sorry." Kate clenched her teeth and counted to ten, sometimes she could almost understand how Tyler didn't like her sister, it was times like this when she was most afraid, that she'd just hall off and hit the older woman, but as usual Jo managed to find a way to pull her back. "Still love me?" 

Shaking her head at her companion, she gave a small bitter grin." Jo, you know I don't love people, but I don't want to kill you, and that's just as important." 

Her companion shrugged and stepped in front to open the door to the Harmony Saving and Loan. It was still the same, just as it was the last day she had been in here, Mr. Chambers' was on the guard duty, more asleep then awake, and Ms. Cory was at the window. "Geez doesn't this town ever change." 

"Huh?" 

"Nothing, go get the money, and then let's go." Kate pointed toward the line, and then moved to stand in the corner; she didn't care if she was seen she just preferred if she wasn't. Reaching into her purse she pulled out her palm pilot, the little gadget always made her think of Reese Durkee, strangely enough the thought brought a smile to her face. Turning it on she checked her schedule, if Jo made her late she friend and half-boos or no, she would have to kill her, after all Tyler was the main boss, and wouldn't hesitate to hurt them so turn about was fair play. 

"We can't have Lilies, Mom." 

"Why?" 

"Because he's allergic to them."

"Are you sure?" 

"Sure that I don't want my intended sneezing throughout the ceremony, yeah." 

Kate lowered the palm and blinked, she heard the first voice, and froze, but it was the giggle that caused her heart to jump. Standing directly behind Jo in line was her mother, sister, and cousin. The entire situation was almost comical, she comes into town once a year, and the one time Jo messes her up, she runs into her family. "Stay calm." 

Calm why wouldn't she be calm, she was Kate Bennett, there where men all over the world that got chills when her name was uttered, there was a village in Indonesia where parents told there children if they didn't eat their vegetables she visited them in the night. She didn't need to be calm, they needed to be brave. She wasn't Kay Bennet anymore. "Let's speed it up, Jo." As if hearing her name, her clueless companion, looked up and waved. She gave a nod and then turned her head as the door opened, and felt her eyes goes wide, as Gwen walked in closely followed by Ethan and Fox.

"So you're picking her up on Thursday?" 

"Yes, right after Girl scouts." 

"Oh aren't you father of the year." 

Ethan stopped and glared at his half-brother." Why are you even here?" 

"I'm here because you're suppose to explaining the O'Bryan deal to me on our lunch hour."

"I did that twenty minutes ago." 

"So I wasn't paying attention, sue me?" 

"Then you'll wait. " Ethan turned away and began talking to Gwen again. 

That was when it happened, Jessica had just saw Ethan when HE walked in, he was short not even average height, he had brown hair, wore a brown trench coat, and a black bowler on his head. Kate's first thought was that he looked like a complete fashion  victim, her second thought was that not only was she going to be late for her date, there was a very good chance she wouldn't make her flight, because that was when he open the his trench coat, and pulled out the shotgun.

"EVERYBODY FREEZE TH IS IS A ROBBERY." 


	3. Chapter 2

~~~ As I Am Ch. 2

I disclaim

*** Silly me, I just notice that I had her being called Kate, when it's actually just Kat. Sorry. Also Fallen is on it's way, but I misplaced the pages of the next chapter, so it should be up some time tomorrow night.

"EVERYBODY FREEZE THIS IS A ROBBERY." 

The words froze the crowd, the shotgun shot that followed, had them screaming, all except Kat who watched the scene with grim acceptance. She was going to be late for her 'date', miss her flight, and probably get fired. If it wasn't for bad luck, she'd have none at all.

"NOW I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYBODY, SO LET GET MY MONEY AND I CAN GO." 

It was every bad movie she had ever seen, she saw Mr. Chamber's signal Ms. Corey, to hit the silent alarm, she heard the 'supposed silent  alarm' start giving off an low pitch moan, that could clearly be heard throughout the bank, before the gunman eyes went wide, and he turned toward Mr. Chambers.

"STOP."  It wasn't until all eyes where on her that she realized that she had spoken. Noting the stunned look on her families face" Okay you don't want to heard anyone, but you're about to shot an unarmed guard, that'll get you the chair, where you headed for anyway, the way you're going." 

"Kay?" Ethan was the first to regain his composure; he took a step, toward her, but the gunman hastily pointed the gun at him, stopping his approach.

"Kat, what are you doing?" Jo looked at her friend, with wide anxious eyes, from her spot cowering on the floor.

"Kat, Kay, what's going on here, who are you?" 

Kat took the minute to really look at gunman, yes he was badly dressed, but he was also young and probably scared witless, he would have to be rob this bank, easily located directly next door to the Harmony Police Department Headquarters. Stupid, scared, and armed where never a good combination. In situations like these sensitivity and patience were required, unfortunately she never had patience, and her sensitive had been sod to her current employer. "Hi, I'm Kathleen Bennett, also known as Kat, and once upon a time as Kay, and I believe I'm about to be your guardian angel.

"Chief."  Sanderson ran into his boss's office breathless, and looking worried. "The silent alarm just went off at the property on 2344 Main Street, Sir"

Luis looked at the young office, and shook his head, the enthusiasm was of the rookie was both refreshing and annoying, most times landing on the latter of the two. "The bank next door."

"Sir Yes, Sir." 

Luis stood, and grabbed his jacket. "Call the commissioner, and get the Alistair Crane on the phone."  
  


"Alistair Crane, Sir?"

"Yeah, it's his bank; I think my father-in-law would like to know its being robbed." Luis paused and took the time to smile, Alistair would hate this, he only wished he could call himself, but just picturing  the look on Old Man Crane's face was enough to make up for the nightmare he knew he was about to endure. He stepped into cop mode, and began walking briskly through the station house, noticing how his offices were already hustling about. The short distance if anything seemed longer, as he strode the few feet across the parking lot, checking his watch and cursed. 

1:15 pm, the bank wouldn't be packed, but he knew they had to be people in there, after all it Friday. This now made a simple bank robbery a possible hostage situation. "Dammit, and it's only my second week on the job." 

"How are you my guardian angel?" 

"Well, if you'll allow me to pace, I can explain to you, you see I think better when I have room to move." She gave him her sweetest smile, this smile had once gotten her diamond bracelet, and then later the matching earrings, and it was what Big Joe called her money smile, 'guaranteed to separate a man from his money', and the old man was right , because the fumbling robber, just nodded, and shifted the gun to focus on her. "Well you see, I know how this whole thing is going to turn, or at least I know I know several likely possibilities for how this can end, and I know the sure way to ensure the best scenario for you." 

"What are you a lawyer?" 

Kat laughed loudly causing the gunman's eyes to go wide. " Sorry, it's  just that I don't think I've ever of a lawyer being likened to a guardian angel, no I'm not a lawyer, I'm much better well at least for some one in your position." 

"Then what are you?"

"I'm lead Reporter for Joe Tyler Media, have you heard of them? They own the Washington Post, The New York Times, CNN, basically anything that can be read, watched or consumed by a the public, and like I said earlier your guardian angel." 

"And how do you figure you can save me?"

"Here's how it works……" She looks at him expectantly, and when he merely stares back at her, she shakes her had." That would have been where you told me your name, but I digress." " Try to understand that only part of what happens here, actually has to do with the law, true you're 'committing' a crime, but only if it's seen that way by a jury of your peers or the general public, so what this really is about is public opinion, and I can change public opinion, plus I know the guys on this force so I know how they're going to handle this, I think given what I've told you you'll have to agree that I'm your best bet."  She ended her spiel with a wink, that she knew would get to him, after all how could not have faith in a woman that winks at you when you're holding a shogun on her. 

"Why should I trust you?" 

"Because we something in common." 

The gunmen lowered the shotgun, and looked at her closely, her outfit was khakis, and a silk button down blouse, but he can could tell that the whole thing was worth more then his car; he looked down at himself and shook his head. He was wearing clothes he had stolen from his neighbors clothesline; he looked back at her with her skepticism. He doubted then had anything in common other then breathing air and he had a feeling she even did that differently." Like what?"

"KAY!" Both turned to look at Ethan who seemed exasperated beyond belief. "Could you stop talking to the robber, and start explaining what's going on?"

"Dunce." Fox said as he rolled his eyes. "Obviously we're in the middle of a bank robbery; I think anything else could wait." 

"Exactly." Kat gave a brief nod in Fox's direction, before turning back to the gunmen." Now like I was saying we're very similar, for instance you want out of town and so do I, the only difference is that I want out by 10:00 pm on Flight 468, so I'm suggesting we work together to accomplish this goal."

He looked down at the hand that she stuck out, the watch just about tripled the worth of her outfit, and the ring could probably buy his way out the trouble he was in, the thing that made him take her outstretched palm was the look in her eye, it was determination, and confidence, this was a woman that could get things done." Okay, so how does this work?" 

"Let's start small, what's your name?"

"Billie." 

"Well WILLIAM, first things first, I suggest you tie up the guys, and release at least one of the tellers, get on the phone with the chief, and get us some food, cause we'll be here for a while, and I haven't yet." She let go of his hand, and looked at the floor, toward her friend." Jo I need you to get your sister on the phone." 

The woman looked up startled, and shook her head furiously, gesturing toward the gunmen." No I'd rather let Billie, shoot me." 

"Do it Jo, I still have a date to keep." 

"What's the situation Chief Lopez-Fitzgerald?" 

Luis looked back at his longtime friend and mentor, and gave a bitter smile." We've a hostage situation happening in the bank, about ten minutes ago the silent alarm was tripped, we've checked our cameras, and seen several people going in right before the alarm went off." He took a step closer, to his friend, and laid a hand on his shoulder." Sam, Grace and the girls are in there, along with Ethan." 

Sam felt his heart drop, and he could remember the exact moment he had felt something like this before, the last time it was Miguel, telling him that he daughter was gone, but the feeling was the same, dread. Fortunately this time, he had some control over the situation, pushing his insecurities away; he gave a grave nod, before looking ahead at the bank that house his family. "Any word from the gunmen?"

"Not yet, but…." Just as he was about to finish he saw Sanderson, running toward with a phone. "But I think this maybe him." The rookie, stopped in front of both men, and handed the phone to Luis, and mouthed the 'bank robber'.

"This is the Chief Lopez-Fitzgerald, whom I'm talking to?" 

_"Billie." Kat shook her head, and mouthed 'William', but he ignored and motioned for her to be quiet. "Yeah it's Billie." _

"Well Billie what can I do get some closure on this?" 

_"I want to let one of the hostages go, but in return I need a …." Billie tried to read Kat's lips but she was moving them to fast and noting seemed to make sense." Luge?" Kat rolled her eyes, and began making small shoveling motions with her hand. "Shovel?" _

Luis took the phone from his ear, and stared at it, before he covered the mouth piece." I think we may have a mental patient on our hands."

_Kat held back the groan and snatched the phone from his hand." Food, he wants foods in exchange for one teller." _

Luis felt the air leave his lungs, as he heard the voice on the other bed, for a moment he thought it was Jessica, or Grace, but there was an attitude in the voice, that he had remembered that could only come from one source." Kay?"

_Kat released a sigh and 'so it begins.' "Hello Luis, congratulations on the promotion, now like I said food for a hostage?"_

Luis looked quickly at Sam who gave him a questioning look." Uh…hold on." He handed the phone to the other man, and stepped back to lean against the squad car parked behind him." It's for you?" 


	4. Chapter 3

~~~ As I Am Ch. 3

I disclaim

~~~

"Hello?" Sam spoke into the phone, his brow furroughing, at Luis strange expression.

Kat nearly dropped the phone; she had heard that voice in her dreams every night since she hightailed it out of Harmony. The voice was full of compassion and pride, and always brought a smile to her face, but now the voice was distant and businesslike and in the moment she remembered who she was now, and what that meant in relation to him., nothing. "Hello Sam." 

"Kay, baby is that you?" 

"Yeah, look as I was telling Luis, William is willing to trade a hostage fro some food." 

"Kay what are you doing here, and who is William?"

"William is the man with gun, now about the trade?"

Stunned at the information he was receiving, he shook he his head, before going into cop mode. A trade of this kind was standard; it was the first move toward resolving the situation." Yeah, we can maybe if I could talk to William?" 

Kat took the moment to glance at her captor, he was pacing and waving the gun frantically, and mumbling under his breath, He was not in a fit state to talk to anyone, much less the Police Commissioner." William's a little busy right now, but I have his permission to handler this, so If we could continue." 

"HIS PERMISSION." Sam lowered his voice and turned away from Luis, before whispering." Kay how involved in this thing are you?" 

Rolling her eyes, she gave a small snicker." Wow that only took what a full minute, I expected Grace to accuse me of robbing the bank, but you that's a nice little twist, but no sorry to ruin your illusions, I am just a hostage, more going on then the rest. "Now one more time, and tried to keep, food for a hostage, going once, going twice…"

"Fine." 

"Sold to smart man, not trying to get anyone killed." Kat covered the mouth piece with her hand and looked at William." It's a deal what are we eating?" 

"Ah…" Billy looked at the people still lying down on the floor, and shrugged his shoulders." I don't know what you guys feel like?" 

Kat clenched her jaw, as he listened to the hostages, who various shouts of pizza, and sandwiches, were making her head ache, and Fox's call for caviar, just made her want to hit him. William was just about to call fro a vote, when she kicked a slammed her fist down on the desk drawing everyone attention to her" You are an ARMED GUNMEN, they are HOSTAGES, you don't VOTE, what do you want to eat William?" 

"I kind feel like Chinese, yeah I think some Egg Drop Soup would calm my nerves." 

Looking at the man, Kat felt sure that some soup wouldn't get the job done, but nodding anyway, before returning to the phone." Chinese, you have one hour, you can send in one unarmed officer to get the order, and check that everyone one al right, but I don't suggest you try anything, as he have a gun pointed at Jessica's head." She hung up the phone, and turned back around noticing the pales faces of her mother, sister, and cousin." William can I see you for a minute?" 

William nodded, and keeping the gun and trained on a group on the floor back stepped over to her." I'm not really going to have to put the gun to someone's head, am I?" 

"William….  
  


"Billy."

" William is more sympathetic, now you're a bank robber now, and part of that is threatening to shot people, along with other intimidation tactics, that use to get what you want, now I'm going need you to do this stuff if you want to get out of here, okay?"

"But..."

"WILLIAM."

"Sorry, okay." 

"William, I shouldn't be yelling at you."

"No that's okay you're stressed, this is very stressful." Billy shrugged it off, and offered a comforting smile.

"No William, I shouldn't be yelling at you, because YOU HAVE THE GUN." At her words he straightened, and tightened his hold on the shot gun." Yeah, that's right, act like you got a pair." "Now when the food arrives you're going to give up the skinny blond, her names Charity." 

Switching to look at her he swung the shot gun her way. "Are you related to this people?" 

"In a way." He raised an eyebrow, and she went on." The red head is my mother, the brunette named Jessica is my sister, my brother Ethan is the guy that called me Kay, and Charity is my cousin." 

He nodded, and gave a little smile." Your favorite cousin?" 

"No I can't stand her, which is why she's the first to leave, I'm not spending an undisclosed amount of time, trapped in a bank with her, I killed myself first." A knock at the front door drew there attention, and he began walking, when she dropped her last bombshell." And the Police Commissioner is my father." William stopped midway to the door, and just stared at her his mouth wide open in shock, but she merely shrugged." Hey you wanted to rob a bank in a small town."  

~~~~

Tyler Tyler looked at the caller id on her cell phone with annoyance, she wanted to talk to the person on the other end, about as much as she wanted a root canal, without the benefit of drugs, but she was for all intensive purposes the oldest and as her father once said 'handler of the garbage'. That in mind she flipped opened her cell phone." What?" 

_"Hi Ty, it's me Jo." _

"I know who you are moron, what I need to know is what you want?" 

_"Oh, well uh… Kat and I were doing that thing, and uh…" _

She took her feet off her desk and turned to look at the California skyline, praying for patience. She didn't understand how Kat dealt with her sister at all, she was certainly the slower of the siblings, and didn't seemed to have the back bone God gave a chicken." Speed it up Jo, I have a life to live, what do you need?" 

_"Okay here's the thing, we're in the middle of a bank robbery, and..." _

"Did you say a bank robbery, like a guy and with gun pointed at tellers?" Ty dropped her head against the window, and laughed." I didn't think people still did that, ain't that novel, and in a small town too, well…" Quickly losing whatever humor she found in the situation, she gave a sigh." So what's that got to do with me?" 

_"Ah hold on." The phone began cutting in and out. "Ty we're going to call you back and put you on speaker phone, okay?" _

"Whatever." She shut her phone, and waited for it to rering, wondering if she should actually answer it. Knowing she had to , ignoring Jo was common place, but listening to Kat was always at the very least good for a life, but she was not she assured herself concerned about either's safety, which is why she let the phone ring twice before answering." What?" 

_  
" It Kat_,_ how would you like to make a ton of money, win a sleuth of awards and help you fellow man all in one gesture." _

"Can I get all that without helping my fellow man?" 

"No." 

Ty took a moment, before she settles back into her seat feet back on the desk." Start Talking."

~~~

"Mr. Crane, the Harmony Police Department just called sir."  The elder man, barley raised his head, but he made a hand motion that forced him to go on." _ Apparently someone is trying to rob the bank sir, they have hostages." _

"So let the police handle it, I'm insured."  

"Well sir, one of the hostages is your grandson Fox, and well…."

"Speak up." 

"They also have Kat Bennet and Jo Tyler" 

"DAMMIT."  Alistair stood, and moved past his desk." Have the jet fueled, and set the flight plan for harmony." 


End file.
